Life is Real Only Then, When I Am
Intro?
…there is a word, namely “wish,” …employed by you …only in order to vary …the degree of the expression of that so to say “slavish impulse” for which there are…a multitude of words, for example, “like,” “want,” “need,” “desire” and so on.
Third Talk – excerpted from section on the exercise about “I am,” “I can” and “I wish…”
When “I wish”—I feel with my whole being that I wish, and can wish. This does not mean that I want, that I need, that I like or, lastly, that I desire. No. “I wish.” I never like, never want, I do not desire anything and I do not need anything—all this is slavery; if “I wish” something, I must like it, even if I do not like it. I can wish to like it, because “I can.”
I wish—I feel with my whole body that I wish.
I wish—because I can wish.
Exchanges with Mme Lannes (1963-64)
Do I Wish to Work?
I put myself in front of myself. Do I wish to work? No I do not. I remain in my armchair, I do not wish. Then I stop working and see what happens. See if that is the true answer from the whole of me; or do I accept that the passive part of me blocks the door? There comes a moment when it is like that. Then do I really not want to work any more for the rest of my life? Don’t I see I am fooled by myself? Of course the refusal is there. Very simply I put myself in front of that.
…There is a little bit of ourselves which we cannot place, something unknown. All the rest just wants to sleep in illusion. Here is a chance to disentangle something from all the rest. I wish to disentangle a little real attention from all the pull of the mechanism and only at that moment I begin to work, otherwise there is no real participation of my own. My own search and my own need are not touched so long as I go on thinking that all the rest is my own.
… We must realize that we have very little wish, very little need, and that we cling to this life of sleep that demands no effort. And when we sense that there is another possibility, we see better where we are and what is expected of us. We feel then a little more responsible for ourselves.
… Mme Lannes: …We discover the aim of the Work little by little. For as long as you wish only to calm yourself, your experiences will bring you no real change.
You maintain in yourself the notion of the different parts of yourself: thought, sensation, wish. A thought without words that turns toward your body and recognizes the simple presence of the body. All this without words. Sensation—lending force to the attention gathered in me. You are beginning perhaps to feel a slight contact with what is alive in you. Do not force anything. You are going toward a meeting with your feeling, which silently questions itself: What do I wish? This contact is there, or it is not there. What I come to is in me, but it is not mine.
Views From the Real World
February 17, 1924
Working on oneself is not so difficult as wishing to work, taking the decision. This is so because our centers have to agree among themselves, having realized that, if they are to do anything together, they have to submit to a common master. But it is difficult for them to agree because once there is a master, it will no longer be possible for any of them to order the others.
…What is usually called will is merely the resultant of desires. If a man has a desire and at the same time there arises a contrary desire, that is, an unwillingness of greater strength than the first, the second will check the first and extinguish it. This is what in ordinary language is called will. —p.214
Teachings of Gurdjieff, C.S. Nott
“If you “wish,” you “can.” Without “wishing,” you never “can.” Wish is the most powerful thing in the world. Higher than God. Of course, I speak of conscious wish; and with conscious wish everything comes.” —quoting G.
Views From the Real World
If you “wish,” you “can.” Without “wishing,” you never “can.” Wish is the most powerful thing in the world. With conscious wish everything comes. —P.92
You have probably heard things said at lectures on the subject of what a man wishes. I can say about the majority of those who are here now that they do not know what they wish, they do not know why they are here. They have no basic desire. At every moment each one wishes something, but in him “it” wishes.
… But if a man has a million’ desires, and no predominant one, then not a single desire can be satisfied, for years are needed to give one thing, and to give a million things. … It is true that it is not easy to wish; but the mind must always remember what it wishes. —p.151
…when we talk about freedom we are talking precisely about crossing over into the other river. —p.238 But of course it is not so simple—you cannot cross over merely because you wish. …
…This possibility depends on desire, strong wish of a very special kind, wishing with the essence, not with the personality. —p.239
The Reality of Being
4. “I” am not here
Real “I” comes from essence. Its development depends on the wish of essence—a wish to be and then a wish to become able to be. Essence is formed from impressions that are assimilated in early childhood, usually up to the age of five or six when a fissure appears between essence and personality. In order to develop further, essence must become active in spite of resistance from the pressure of personality. We need to “remember ourselves” for our essence to receive impressions. Only in a conscious state can we see the difference between essence and personality.
I must always, again and again, come back to this question: What do I wish? It must become the most important question of my life. Yet this wish for a different quality has no force at all if it comes from my ordinary “I.” It must be related to something completely different from my ordinary “I” and free from the desire for a result. I must not forget why I wish. This must be for me really a question of life or death—I wish to be, to live in a certain way.
12. The sacred manifests as inner consciousness
In man it is the mind that is opposed to the body. The neutralizing force is the wish that unites them, connects them. Everything comes from the wish, the will. To represent God, it is necessary to represent these three forces. Where the three forces are reunited, God is. Where our attention is, God is. When two forces are opposed and a third unites them, God is here…
16. What is up to me
As I try to remember myself, I see where my wish comes from. It is from my ordinary “I.” So long as the impulse comes from the possessiveness at the core of my personality, it will not bring the freedom necessary for a perception that is direct. When I see this … I have the impression of being a little freer. . . . But I wish to keep this freedom, and the way I wish comes again from possessiveness. It is like finding freedom from the influence only to fall back under it again, as though following a movement inward toward the more real and then a movement outward away from the real. If I am able to observe and live this, I will see that these two movements are not separate. They are one and the same process. And I need to feel them like the ebb and flow of a tide, with a keen attention that does not let itself be carried away and that, by its vision, keeps a balance.