Banker’s Balls

An elderly woman carrying a large paper bag entered the head branch Chase Manhattan Bank. She told the young man at the window that she wished to open an account there with the $3 million she had in the bag. First, though, she wanted to meet the president of Chase Manhattan due to the amount of money involved.

This sounded like a reasonable request, so after opening the bag the teller saw bundles of $1,000 bills which must have totaled around $3 million. He phoned the bank president’s secretary to get the woman in to see the president. The elderly woman was ushered upstairs to to the president’s office. Introductions were made, and she said she liked to get to know  people she did business with on a more personal level.

The bank president asked her how she came into such a large sum of money. “Was it an inheritance?” he asked. “No,” she answered. “Was it from playing the stock market?” he inquired. “No,” she replied. He was quiet for a minute, trying to think where this elderly woman could possibly have come into $3 million.

“I bet,” she stated. “As in horses?” he asked. “No” she replied. “I bet people.” Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bet on different things with people. All of a sudden she said, “I’ll bet you $25,000 that by 10 o’clock tomorrow morning your balls will be square.”

The bank president figured she must be crazy, and decided to take her up on the bet. How could he lose? For the rest of the day he was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening, and take no chances—there was $25,000 at stake. When he got up the next morning and took his shower, he checked to make sure everything was okay with his scrotum. He looked the same as he always had. He went to work and waited for the woman to come in at 10 o’clock, humming as he went. He knew this would be his lucky day—how often did he get handed $25,000 for doing nothing?

At 10 o’clock sharp the woman was shown into his office. With her was a man. When the bank president asked her what the other man was doing in the office, she informed the president that he was her lawyer and she always took him along when there was this much money involved.

“Well,” she asked, “what about our bet?” “I don’t know how to tell you this,” he replied, “but I’m the same as I’ve always been, only now $25,000 richer.”

The lady seemed to accept this, but requested she be able to see for herself. The bank president thought this was reasonable, and dropped his trousers . She instructed him to bend over, and she grabbed hold of him. Sure enough, every thing was fine. His balls were not square.

The bank president then looked up and saw her lawyer standing across the room banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong with him?” he inquired. “Oh, him,” she answered. ” I bet him $100,000 that by 10 o’clock this morning I’d have the president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls.

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